The Dangers of Eavesdropping
by MapleRose
Summary: Oh Mwu, you’re insatiable! Uh, just what exactly are the captain and commander doing in there! And Kira, Dearka, don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop!


AN: This is a plotless, pointless ficlet to amuse myself. This fic contains character OOCness, and innuendos galore. enjoy!

Summary: "Mwu, you're insatiable!" Uh, just what exactly are the captain and commander _doing _in there! Do we really want to know...

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THE DANGERS OF EAVESDROPPING  
by Maplerose

--

Kira Yamato sighed as he walked down the halls of the Archangel. It had been a long day, and he was tired from working on the Freedom all day. Finally he could rest a bit.

He was so zoned out that he didn't see Dearka Elthman standing in the hallway until he almost bumped into the other boy.

"Oh sorry Dearka," Kira mumbled as he prepared to walk around the other boy.

Dearka didn't seem to see or hear him. He was leaning against a closed door, ear pressed against the metal surface.

Curious, Kira stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Shh," Dearka shushed and pointed toward the inside of the door.

Kira was confused. He looked to where Dearka was pointing to, and all he could see was the metal door.

Dearka sighed in impatience and motioned for Kira to come closer. When he did, Kira could hear faint voices coming from the other side of the door.

"…Are you sure you're up for this?" a deep male voice asked.

"Sure," a female voice answered, "I'm up for the challenge."

Kira had no idea what they were talking about, or why Dearka was so interested. But as he stepped back from the door, he thought this door looked familiar. Then it hit him, he was standing in front of: the captain's room, where he had once been interrogated.

"Uh Dearka, we shouldn't eavesdrop…"

Dearka just rolled his eyes. "You don't have to listen in if you feel it's against your principles." Then glancing up at Kira, he added, "But aren't you at least curious?"

Kira looked on in horror as the other boy pressed his ears again to the door.

"Dearka, we really shouldn't…" he trailed off as Dearka's eyes widened. Unable to contain his curiousity, Kira closed in on the door and listened.

But instead of voices, all he could hear were straining sounds and groans, along with few indistinguishable murmurs.

Kira immediately withdrew from the door, blushing furiously.

"W-What are they doing in there?" Kira stammered. Dearka just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if asking if he was serious. Kira fell silent. He had an inkling, but was unwilling to jump to conclusions yet.

"…Wow you're better…than I thought," the male voice declared between breaths.

"Well, it's not like I've never done this before," she answered. "In fact, we used to do it all the time back in the academy."

"Really?"

"Yeah, to build strength."

Kira's eyes widened in horror. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? He shuddered involuntarily, glad that he never went to any academy.

He stared at the metal door, not sure what to do. He didn't want to think about what the captain and commander where doing in that room. Kira wanted to run, but he didn't want Dearka to stay here and eavesdrop either.

"Okay, Dearka, we should definitely leave now," he stated. But the other boy simply ignored him, ears glued to the door, eyes bright and excited.

Once again, Kira found himself overcome by curiosity, and his ear found its way to the metal barrier.

"…Again! That's like the fifth time! Mwu, you're insatiable!"

"Oh come on, please?"

A groan of annoyance. "You've already gotten your victory. I'm tired, let me rest now."

A few seconds of silence passed.

"Does that mean you admit defeat then?" he challenged, waiting for her to take the bait.

But she didn't. Instead, she answered with a sigh. "All right, you win, okay?"

A sigh of exasperation escaped him. If that didn't work, maybe begging will?

"Please Murrue, just one more time. I'll go easy on ya."

More silence, as if she was trying to decide what to do.

She sighed, "Fine." The sound of movement was heard. "But I don't want you to go easy on me, okay?"

He laughed at her pride. "All right then, I'll give you all I've got."

Immediately afterwards, the curious boys outside heard a yelp of surprise, followed by a string of apologies.

"I'm sorry, are you all right Murrue?"

"Yes, yes I'm fine," a pause, "I just wasn't ready yet that's all."

He laughed, "Okay." More shifting noises. "Are you ready now?"

She seemed to take a deep breath. "Yes, I'm ready."

The noises started again, and Kira found his face grow hot. Part of him wanted to leave and forget he ever heard anything, but another part of him made him stay rooted to the spot.

"…Come on Murrue, you need to push harder than that."

"I know," she replied between huffs of breaths. "I'm trying!"

"Hmm," he sounded thoughtful, "Maybe I should—"

"No!" she cut him off, "Don't you dare hold back on me! You said you wouldn't, remember?"

The conversation fell silent, and all Dearka and Kira could hear were straining sounds and grunts again, coupled with puffs of heavy breathing.

Kira's face burned as those sounds travelled from his ears to his brain. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. It was very rude to eavesdrop after all, especially when…

"That's it Dearka, we're leaving!" he hissed as he dragged a protesting Dearka away from the door and down the hall.

--

"Yes! I did it!"

In the captain's room, Murrue declared her triumph. Her arms were sore, but victory was hers for once.

"Okay, all right, you win…" the man opposite her admitted defeat while rubbing his arm muscles. She had proved to be a tougher opponent than he had first expected, and she had more stamina than he had first thought.

"You didn't hold back that time, did you?" she asked. She wanted her victory to be fair.

He shook his head with a laugh. "Nope, I gave it my all. You won fair and square."

At her gloating expression, he added, "But I want a rematch."

"Now?" she scowled, "But you said—"

"Okay, maybe not now," he sighed. "Another time them?"

She smiled and agreed. "All right, we'll have a rematch later."

After all, a little arm wrestling never hurt anyone.

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AN: Inspiration for this comes from a doujinshi of Sango and Miroku by Mikaila.

This actually took a while to write, because I had to stop once in a while due to bursts of giggle fits (good thing nobody else is home...)

I know what you're thinking they were doing in there! You people have sick sick minds! XD

Reviews welcome!


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